Christmas in a Shot Glass
by Anonymous Donor
Summary: Alternate ending to Endless Waltz. Heero finds himself alone with only his thoughts and the carolers on Christmas. (song fic)


Christmas in a Shot GlassIncluding "Silent Night" (Translated from the original German lyrics)

An original songfic by Kathryn

::Warnings:: very angsty, kind of AU

::Disclaimer:: I do not own GW or its characters. I'm just an obsessed fan.

Duo: You are obsessed. You're mean about it too. You're terribly cruel to us.

Me: Am not!

Quatre: You can get a little mean, killing us off and all.

Me: But…. But…

Wufei: Shut up, onna. If you make us commit suicide in this one-

Heero: Omae o korosu.

Other Pilots: Yeah. We'll all help.

Me: Fine. No one commits suicide in this one.

Duo: Then what's with the angst warning?

Me: I didn't say people wouldn't be depressed.

Pilots: Aaaaaacccccckkkkkkk!

Me: ^_~;; Enjoy!

~*~

(Heero's POV) (Alternate ending to EW: What if Heero was the only one who survived against Marimeia?)

*song*

*Silent Night! Holy Night!*

That old, familiar tune of this day. It rings empty in my mind. It's all over. We've 

failed. I've failed. I've failed them. They're all dead because of me. Because I couldn't 

beat Marimeia. They're dead because of me. It's my fault.

*All is calm, all is bright*

It's all quiet, except for the carolers outside. They sound so joyful singing that song. 

I've got nothing to be joyful for. Anyone I've ever cared about or has ever cared for me 

is dead, gone, never to return. All I have now is my hiding place and this bottle. I'll have 

leave soon, but this bottle will help me until then. I'm wanted. Marimeia's preventers 

are after me. What a bright future. That song…. I'm feeling something I haven't felt in a 

long time. My eyes are so blurry. My cheeks feel warm and damp. I'm crying. I've 

been broken.

*Round yon Virgin

Mother and Child*

I don't want to be alone. I want to feel Quatre's hand on my shoulder, reassuring me that 

everything will be okay. I want to see Duo bouncing through the doorway, tripping on 

things in the process. I even want to see Wufei, quietly practicing his katas with 

complete concentration. Hell, even Zech would be a pleasant sight. I just don't want to 

be alone.

*Sleep in Heavenly peace,

Sleep in Heavenly peace*

I didn't realize I already had ¼ of the bottle down. That may shots. Ugh. Drown my 

problems in whiskey. Why not? Life already sucks as it is, why no wake up with a 

giant hangover to complicate it? I feel about the same as I did when I started, maybe 

more depressed.

*Silent Night! Holy Night*

My friends are gone, my life is in a swiftly falling downward spiral. I have nothing left.

I have nothing but death to look forward to. I could say the preventers the time and do

it myself right now, but I can't. Why?

*Shepherds quake

At the sight*

I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what will become of me. This isn't me. I've tried to kill myself 

before, but hose were in times of panic and absolute necessity. It isn't necessary now, 

and I realize how stupid I was to do it before.

*Glories stream 

From Heaven afar*

At least I realize that now. How could I have been so stupid? Life is so precious. Hmf. 

I say this with 1/3 of the bottle gone. But it feels so warm, like arms around my 

shoulders. Gawd! They've only been gone a few hours and I already miss them all. The 

Gundams have been defeated. At least we had our moment of glory, of joy.

*Heavenly hosts

Sing alleluia*

The times we had between missions were always interesting, especially with Duo. He 

was my favorite person to be around. I don't think he ever realized it, but I always 

thought him to be my best friend. He had more time for us than himself. He always 

and cheered us up even though, deep down, I know he was feeling like crying or 

screaming. Well, I think he's gone to a place where he can see everyone he ever cared

for.

*Christ the Saviour is born

Christ the Saviout is born!*

Mybe his minister's collar had meaning. I never got he nerve to ask. I thought it was a 

stupid question, but I'll never know the answer now. I should've gotten to know them all

better and been nicer to them, especially Duo and Quatre. I was such a jerk to them.

*Silent Night! Holy Night!*

I never really got to know Trowa, even during the time we spent together after the first 

time I self destructed. He was always so quiet, like he was contemplating something, 

and I didn't want to disturb him. Now I wish I had. I don't know anything about him.

*Wonderous star

Lend thy light*

I didn't know Quatre too well. He was so kind to me when we were together. He had 

problems, but he was still very nice to everyone, save for the Wing Zero incedent, but 

that wasn't his fault. I don't blame him for it either.

*With the angels 

Let us sing*

Wufei was too solitary to get close to, but I feel he had a reason to always wanting to 

fight alone. I only wish I knew what it was. It was something down far in his soul which

he covered up with an arrogant attitude.

*Allelulia 

To our King*

But I miss Duo most. He was the strongest of all of us. He only broke from his goofball 

persona a couple of times, but those were always at only the worst of times. Even then, 

he'd at least try and smile for us, even if it didn't reach his eyes. Sigh. ½ the bottle gone.

*Christ the Saviour 

Is here*

Well, Merry Christmas to you all, where ever you are. Wait for me, I may be a while and 

hopefully I'll be able to meet you there, but you'll just have to wait. For now I'll just 

indulge in my Christmas. My Christmas in a shot glass.

~*~

A.N. Ho ho ho. Aren't I in the Christmas spirit? Just such a happy fic, ne? Kinda 

makes you want to dance. Such a happy scene: Heero alone in a dark, bare room with a 

bottle of whiskey. Anyway, I know it was late and I'm sorry. It really was written before

Christmas. Feedback?


End file.
